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I drop Simran off to her pre-school in the mornings. Some days she’s more playful than others and fusses about sitting in her car-seat and/or putting her seat-belt on. I try to cajole her and convince her. ‘Simran, we’re getting late,’ I say, ‘Sim, you’ve got to sit in the car seat and put your belt on, c’mon.’ Sometimes she gets stubborn and still doesn’t listen.  

Today was one of such mornings. So I had to be a parent, take a stand, and strictly ask her to do what mommy said. She got a little upset but she finally sat in her seat. I buckled her, kissed her, and thanked her for listening to me. I know she got the ‘stubborn’ gene from me!

I was really late for work today. My toleration level was a little low anyway.

While we were driving to her school, she said, ‘Mommy, I’m thirsty.’

‘OK Sim, we’ll drink some water when we get to school,’ I said.

‘OK, mom.’

When we got there, I signed her in, kissed her good day, and waved her b-bye. I requested her teacher to get some water for her and I left.

I rushed to work and tried to finish off what was on my plate quickly to get to my dentist appointment at noon. I was a nervous wreck. I hate visiting a dentist. I’m petrified of ANY dental work. Sitting in that chair-o-pain, anticipating excruciating pain was by far the worst part of my day. I just wanted to go home afterwards and rest for a while before heading out to pick Simran up from school.

My dentist’s office is really sophisticated! Amazing technology and a television in front of each dental chair, mainly for distraction. While my dentist was working on my teeth, I saw the dreadful news of the day on the TV in front of me. Over 27 innocent lives killed, including 20 children!

WTF. Tears rolled out of my eyes, not sure from which pain.

After I was done, I didn’t want to go home. Somehow, sitting alone on my couch suddenly didn’t seem very comforting. ‘Did her teacher get her water?’, I thought. Then I went to pick Simran up. They were in the middle of their afternoon story time. I just sat in her class and watched all those lovely little kids trying to make sense of this world around them.

I hope someday this world will make some sense to them. To me, it still doesn’t.

I sat there, and didn’t mind sitting there, just looking at my little girl play with her friends and enjoy her winter-party snacks. I know I hugged her a little tighter today.

I do not believe in a god or a heaven or a hell or in hereafter. I wish I did – so I could provide some solace to myself in the thought that the rotten being who did this would burn in hell, forever.