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This past week was super hectic- both at work and home. I was eagerly awaiting Friday for that’s when I get home early and relax- and do what I call ‘whatever’. It’s the ‘me’ time. But, I had to work till a little late last Friday (boo!) and got home around 2.30, had lunch, relaxed a bit and picked up Simran from daycare.

As for parents of most 3 yr old kids, Saturdays, for the both of us, are a juggle between cooking, cleaning, laundry, classes, groceries and general shopping. And last Saturday was no exception. Our Sunday was all planned too. Husband had to work and after lunch I took Simran to the Museum of Natural History.

Due to my more than excellent navigation skills, especially in and around DC, I decided to take the metro. I parked at this mall from where we then boarded the train. I think this was Simran’s first metro ride. I couldn’t stop laughing at her tiny body wobbling with every little jerk and turn of the metro car! I swear, the train ride was more fun for her than the museum itself.

Inside the museum, we went to the Ocean section, Fossil area, Insects section and saw some ‘stuffed’ birds! The large fish tank was the biggest hit, which, according to her, had Nemo and Dory and Marlin in it!. Of course, because it had LIVE moving animals as compared to the STILL ones (I don’t like using the word DEAD in front of her yet!), it was more fun for her to watch.

I had told her that we’d see dinosaurs in the museum. Silly me. Now she wanted to see (and pet) real dinosaurs, lol. Now how do you explain the concept of ‘extinct’ to a three year old? I did what I could! Fossils were not much of an enjoyment for her. Go figure. She loved the insects though. Again, they were moving and live (and lively too!). The centipede was the best (even I thought so). I had never seen a real centipede in my life. It was so cute (of course behind glass all these creatures look cute). ‘You have a hundred legs’, she exclaimed at the centipede, ‘and you’re my favorite insect!’ (She has a favorite insect? Alright).

And then we saw lots of birds, eagles, vultures, owls … very fascinating indeed! She also met one of her friends at the museum and both of them had a gala time. We bought some books and soft toys from the store, had some snacks and then I decided to head back home.

Of course, the way back from anywhere nearly as exciting as a museum is never as thrilling as the way to there. And after all that walking in the museum, at the metro, and to and from stations, Simran was really tired (me too). She refused to walk back and insisted on being carried.

I had to carry the whole 35 or so lbs of her most of the time while coming back. It wasn’t a long walk but with Sim in arms (and almost asleep- when she sleeps she gets heavier, believe me) it felt like miles and miles :-(.

She somehow managed to remain awake during most of the journey back (I guess metro did the trick) and we came back home around 6. I had some laundry to catch up on, prepare dinner for that night and pack lunch for the next day.

Needless to say, the entire household was terribly tired by the end of Sunday. Anyway, we all slept a little early but still got up a little late on Monday morning. I was still VERY tired and did not feel like going to work at all. I could tell, Simran was tired (and a little cranky) too. After loads of coaxing she finally managed to get out of her bed. Out of the blue, while eating her morning cereal she started to cry for something very trivial (I think she wanted to bring one of her larger soft toys to school and I wasn’t allowing that). She persisted. I snapped.

I yelled at her (insert sad face here). She cried even louder. Of course my yelling didn’t help at all (it made matters worse in fact). It was just my exhaustion coming out on her. And immediately I felt immensely horrible. Super duper bad. I felt as if I was the worst of all moms- worst(est) form of guilt EVER.

It was just an instant but it destroyed my day (and part of her’s too, I think). Suddenly, this instant was the only thing I could remember from the entire awesome weekend that we had spent together. Everything else faded far far far into the background and this moment just popped up like things do in those stereograms.

Eventually she calmed down, I said my sorry (she said nothing), and I dropped her at school a little late. I ended up working from home for a part of the day. I tried to catch up on stuff around the house and meanwhile kept draining myself in this guilt I had bestowed upon myself. Tbh, a whole lot of tears were lost.

And of course, I picked her up a little early and said sorry to her again. You know what she said? She said, ‘It’s OK mom, you were just being a bad girl. Don’t be a bad girl again.’ I looked into her tiny twinkling eyes fixated on to mine (that were almost teary by now). They were deep. I could have just shrunk into a little pea with shame at that moment. How can I ever recover.

This guilt-ridden mom is so proud of you my innocent and wise little girl- I love you!

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